


Murder Ward

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky and Hutch go undercover in a mental asylum to discover why there is such a high fatality rate.
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Murder Ward


    MURDER WARD
    
    Season 3, Episode 4
    
    Original Airdate: Octobe 8, 1977
    
    Written by: Anthony Yerkovich
    Directed by: Earl Bellamy
    Created by: William Blinn
    
    Summary: Starsky and Hutch go undercover in a mental asylum to discover why there is such a high fatality rate. 
    
    Cast: 

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear (credit only)

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey (credit only)

Suzanne Somers ... Jane Hutton

Joey Forman ... Freddie Lyle / Sam Spade

Leon Charles ... Dr. Matwick

Fran Ryan ... Miss Bycroft

Otis Day ... Jackson (as DeWayne Jessie)

Blackie Dammett ... Charlie Deek

Ned York ... Switek

Sam DeFazio ... Victor

H.B. Haggerty ... Bo

Robert Ball ... Howard (as Robert E. Ball)

Vincent Schiavelli ... Weeze
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Cabrillo Mental Institution**
    
    AMBULANCE ATTENDANT: Delivery. One genuine bull-goose loony. Sign here, please.
    
    BYCROFT: Is this the transfer from County General?
    
    AMBULANCE ATTENDANT" Yes, ma'am. Name of Skyler.
    
    STARSKY: Say, beautiful, how do you like my new moustache?
    
    BYCROFT: It's very nice, Mr. Skyler.
    
    STARSKY: Good. You can have it. I gotta run. Whoo!
    
    BYCROFT: Restrain him. Restrain him!
    
    STARSKY: There's a wild man on the loose! Whoo! 
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabrillo Mental Institution**
    
    STARSKY: I've taken worse hits in the Little League.
    
    HUTCH: Speak for yourself. Somebody get him off me.
    
    SWITEK: Get the wheelchair.
    
    STARSKY: How did you like that fake, huh? Pretty good?
    
    SWITEK: Sit down.
    
    HUTCH: Why did you do that? 
    
    BRYCROFT: To keep him quiet.
    
    STARSKY: I'd really rather stand.
    
    HUTCH: Was that really necessary?
    
    BRYCROFT: Will you sit down, Mr Skyler, please? Mr. Hansen, how much experience have you had in mental institutions?
    
    HUTCH: Well, actually, I've, uh... been here one week.
    
    BYCROFT: One week? My. We have a lot to learn, don't we? Mr Switek, would you take the new patient to his ward, please?
    
    HUTCH: Uh, I'd be very happy to take him up there. Well, I... I have to go up there anyway.
    
    BYCROFT: As you like. Mr Hansen.
    
    HUTCH: Oh. Thank you. Oh.
    
    BYCROFT: Sure you can handle it by yourself, Hansen?
    
    STARSKY: Oh, better than you'll ever know, Hot Lips.
    
    HUTCH: I'll manage. Ah, here we are. This is your room.
    
    STARSKY: I'm hungry.
    
    HUTCH: And this is the rec room. I know you'll have many, many, many happy hours in here.
    
    STARSKY: Hey.
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    STARSKY: Who's the guy with the hat?
    
    HUTCH: Where?
    
    STARSKY: Behind us.
    
    HUTCH: Oh. Uh, his name is Freddie Lyle. He's into detective stories. Thinks he's Sam Spade.
    
    STARSKY: Why is he staring at me?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know. Maybe you're paranoid. Or maybe he thinks you're his next case. Freddie. Oh!
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second. Isn't that Jane Hutton, our crusading girl reporter? You talked to her yet?
    
    HUTCH: Nope. She doesn't even know we're in here.
    
    STARSKY: Boy, she's some case. Anybody else would have to be committed to come to a place like this. Boy, we sure got some job on our hands.
    
    HUTCH: Shh.
    
    STARSKY: Hmm? Hey, would you get me out of these bracelets?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. YSure. Come on.
    
    STARSKY: Not only do we have to find some homicidal nut in a place that specialises in them, we gotta make sure that Jane doesn't get to him first. Boy, I can hardly keep my eyes open. So... what do you got?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, not much. Officially, the hospital lists two of the deaths as suicide by hanging, two of the deaths as respiratory failure.
    
    STARSKY: Respiratory failure?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, you know, accidental overdose, uh, suffocation, that sort of thing.
    
    STARSKY: I don't know about this. I mean, I once saw on the late show, a movie about an insane asylum and this guy that went undercover.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: He never came out.
    
    HUTCH: What happened?
    
    STARSKY: He went bananas.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, Starsky, that's just in the movies. That's not gonna happen to you. You wait, you're gonna be surprised. Most of the people in this place are quite normal.
    
    STARSKY: Don't do that.
    
    FREDDIE: OK, Mac, the dope on the Sternwood case. You gonna shake, or I gotta rattle? 
    
    STARSKY: Normal, huh? 
    
    FREDDIE: Nix on the small-talk, Ferrino. I'm packing a gat big enough to stop a rhino.
    
    STARSKY: Gat?
    
    FREDDIE: Yeah, a rod. Cheese it, the cops!
    
    MALE ORDERLY: Come on, Freddie, back to your room.
    
    FREDDIE: Mum's the word, eh, Mac?
    
    HUTCH: Welcome to Cabrillo State. Hi, there.
    
    HUTTON: You know, this place is starting to look like a precinct station. What are you guys doing here?
    
    HUTCH: Well, you see, Starsky won this weekend for two at his favourite asylum. 
    
    HUTTON: Oh, that is very funny.
    
    HUTCH: Besides which, this place is developing a startlingly high fatality rate. We thought we'd check it out.
    
    HUTTON: While keeping your eye on the girl reporter, hmm?
    
    HUTCH: That's part of it. As Dobey said to the chief, it would be kind of bad press to find you stuffed in a broom closet.
    
    HUTTON: Well, this may come as a jolt to your sense of manliness, Hutchinson, but this girl doesn't need any help.
    
    HUTCH: Now, look, Jane, Starsky and I are cops. We are not newspapermen. We are not looking for a story. Hopefully, we can even help you get one.
    
    HUTTON: I'm sorry. To tell you the truth, when I saw your faces out there it was the first time in a week I haven't been scared.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Cabrillo** **Mental Institution**
    
    HOWARD: What time is it?
    
    JACKSON: It's, uh, 10 to 9, Howard.
    
    HOWARD: I'm late. I'm late!
    
    STARSKY: What's he late for?
    
    JACKSON: He's always saying that. That cat's nuttier than a pecan pie.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, I wouldn't say that if I were you, Jackson. You could be one of us someday.
    
    JACKSON: This way, this way, this way. Hey, fellas, I'd like you all to meet Rudy here. He just came in this morning. You already met Freddie, right?
    
    FREDDIE: I ain't never seen the mug before in my life.
    
    JACKSON: Ah, well... That's Weeze, Victor, and the big fella's Bo.
    
    STARSKY: What do you say, fellas?
    
    VICTOR: I murder that I most adore, laughing; I am indeed of those condemned; Forever without repose to laugh; But who can smile no more.
    
    WEEZE: Victor, he gets a little morbid from time to time. He's a poet.
    
    BO: Sit down.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, thanks.
    
    WEEZE: Bo's a practical joker.
    
    STARSKY: Oh? Well, uh... I like practical jokers.
    
    WEEZE: Wanna play some five-card stud?
    
    STARSKY: Sure. Uh, you deal, and I'll be right back. I bet you really enjoyed that.
    
    HUTTON: I don't believe I know you. 
    
    STARSKY: Skyler is the name. Rudy Skyler.
    
    HUTTON: Oh.
    
    STARSKY: Do you know why I'm here?
    
    HUTTON: Well, I can just imagine.
    
    STARSKY: Sex maniac.
    
    HUTTON: OH, how fascinating.
    
    STARSKY: Don't let me catch you in any dark corners.
    
    SWITEK: Skyler. Get back over to your own side.
     
    STARSKY: Oh, I love it when you get so angry. I'm starting to feel like a lousy pin cushion.
    
    HUTCH: I warned you about Switek. Even when he's following standard medical procedure, he can get back at you.
    
    STARSKY: You mean every time a patient causes a little bit of trouble, the standard operating procedure is to shoot them up?
    
    HUTCH: What else can they do? Every medical facility in this state is chronically understaffed.
    
    STARSKY: What was that?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, it's gotta be 11. They turn the lights out then.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, terrific.
    
    HUTCH: Look, I just talked to Jane. If she's right, Switek is more than just a lousy male nurse.
    
    STARSKY: You think he's involved in the killings?
    
    HUTCH: Well, he's involved in something. Just what it is, she doesn't know. I'm gonna have Dobey do a complete rundown.
    
    STARSKY: Hey.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: I got a feeling this is gonna be a long weekend. Don't go too far.
    
    HUTCH: I'll be here.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Victor's Room at Cabrillo**
    
    VICTOR: Goodnight, Starsky. So long, Hutch.
    
    
    **Exterior - Day - Cabrillo Basketball Court**
    
    HUTCH: How are you getting on with your new friends?
    
    STARSKY: Okay. They're starting to open up. I'm learning some pretty juicy gossip about you guys.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah?
    
    STARSKY: Yeah. So far, nothing about any murders, though. Hey.
    
    HUTCH: What?
    
    STARSKY: There.
    
    FREDDIE: Psst.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah.
    
    STARSKY: Huh. Hiya, Freddie.
    
    FREDDIE: I told you, no names, Mac. You see a couple of mugs in a robin's-egg-blue T-bird?
    
    STARSKY: Not recently.
    
    FREDDIE: Racketeers.
    
    STARSKY: Oh.
    
    FREDDIE: Been tailing me all afternoon.
    
    STARSKY: I'll see you, Freddie.
    
    FREDDIE: I told you, no names!
    
    STARSKY: Mum's the word.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Matwick's Office**
    
    MATWICK: Come in.
    
    HUTCH: Doctor, I have the files here that you requested from Miss Bycroft.
    
    MATWICK: Oh, thank you.
    
    MATWICK: Oh, Hansen.
    
    HUTCH: Yes, sir?
    
    MATWICK: Come here a moment. I want to show you something. Do you notice anything different about any of these fellows?
     
    HUTCH: Uh, no. No, they look pretty much the same to me.
    
    MATWICK: Course they do. Just yesterday, one of them was quite different.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, really? Which one?
    
    MATWICK: This one over here. The little one there on the wheel.
    
    HUTCH: Uh-huh.
    
    MATWICK: Had some sort of organic disorder. Up until yesterday, you couldn't put him with the rest of the mice, or he'd kill them.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yes. We, um... We studied that syndrome at med school. It's called the Van Kleef experiments. 
    
    MATWICH: Van Kleef was a very gifted man for his time.
    
    HUTCH: Well, Doctor, what caused the change?
    
    MATWICK: It's a new drug I've developed.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, really?
    
    MATWICK: Here, let me show you. It's a belladonna derivative. Except it's long-term and works in conjunction with the adrenal gland.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I see. So, the more violent the mouse becomes, the more effect the drug has. 
    
    MATWICK: Precisely.
    
    HUTCH: Right. 
    
    MATWICH: It completely incapacitates the subject. A sort of built-in
    behaviour control.
    
    HUTCH: Have you, uh, tested any of, uh, the inmates yet?
    
    MATWICK: Well... I must admit, I've been tempted, with some of our more severe
    discipline problems. But, of course, it would be totally illegal.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, right.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabrillo Rec Room**
    
    STARSKY: And here we are at mid-stretch, with Bo's Folly and Electroshock and Dr. Jekyll and Miss Bycroft's Bug and the Cabrillo Kid. There is excitement in the air! Plenty of excitement as these bugs...
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Nurses Station**
    
    BYCROFT: Third-floor station, Bycroft. Yeah, this is she. I'll be right there.
    
    SWITEK: (on phone) Yeah, this is Switek. Look, I don't have enough on hand right now. No, you don't have to go elsewhere. I'll get the rest. Look, you let me worry about how!
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabrillo Rec Room**
    
    BYCROFT: What is the meaning of this?
    
    BO: You see, the first one to cross the finish line wins a case of beer.
    
    WEEZE: Skyler calls it the first annual Cabrillo Cockroach Derby.
    
    BYCROFT: And you, Howard, you should be ashamed of yourself!
    
    HOWARD: But Rudy said I could keep the time.
    
    STARSKY: Howard, you're doing terrific. You just keep it up right up.
    
    BYCROFT: Mr. Skyler!
    
    STARSKY: Not now, sweetheart. A lot of beer riding on this. Now they're moving
    to the finish! And it's Dr. Jekyll, Electroshock in- Killed him. She killed the Cabrillo Kid. You murdered the Cabrillo Kid.
    
    WEEZE: It's Electroshock! Hey, Skyler, I'm a winner!
    
    STARSKY: Terrific.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Matwick's Office**
    MATWICK: Come in.
    
    SWITEK: Evening, Doctor. Have you got my medicine for me? 
    
    MATWICK: Well? 
    
    SWITEK: I'm afraid this just won't be enough, Doctor.
    
    MATWICK: Now, we had an agreement.
    
    SWITEK: Agreements change. Why don't we just double the amount?
    
    MATWICK: I'm afraid that's out of the question. 
    
    SWITEK: You know, Doc, if these files got out on your latest research, you could be put away for a very long time.
    
    MATWICK: I'm afraid you have me in a rather awkward position.
    
    SWITEK: Yeah, I guess I do.
    
    MATWICK: Uh, Switek, Before you leave, I want you to go in and check on Skyler.
    
    SWITEK: What for? He's all right.
    
    MATWICK: Now, that's an order.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Hutton's Room**
    
    HUTTON: How is he?
    
    HUTCH: He's out like a light. Well? 
    
    HUTTON:   Oh, that cockroach race really had them from all over the building, huh?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I just I hope your little diversion works. What did you get?
    
    HUTTON: Well, our friend Mr Switek seems to be in the drug business. In fact, he's been ripping off vials of these.
    
    HUTCH: Lithium carbonate.
    
    HUTTON: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: You get plenty on the street for this.
    
    HUTTON: Yeah. I'm not sure how it ties in with anything.
    
    HUTCH: Look, my shift is about up. Now, I'm gonna go see if Dobey's been able to come up with anything on Switek yet. We'll pick this up in the morning.
    
    HUTTON: OK.
    
    HUTCH: You know, you wouldn't make a half-bad cop.
    
    HUTTON: Aw, thanks. But you let me know before you try and pin any badges on, Okay?
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Starsky's Room**
    
    HUTTON: We thought you were the enemy. Did you find out anything about Switek?
    
    HUTCH: Well, he's got a record, all right.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah?
    
    HUTCH: Back in New York. Three priors for dealing and trafficking. But he got off on all three of them, so it didn't show up on his records out here when he applied for a job.
    
    HUTTON: Wow. Guy like that working in a hospital?
    
    HUTCH: Was working in a hospital. He took a hike.
    
    STARSKY: Where did he go?
    
    HUTCH: Well, he didn't show up at his apartment last night. The place is vacated. Clothes, furniture, everything. He didn't come to work this morning. Dobey put out an APB on him. I don't know, Starsk, there's something a lot bigger here than just Switek.
    
    STARSKY: Sure sounds that way. 
    
    HUTTON: Well, I better be going. They're gonna miss me in my encounter group.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I gotta run too. Oh. Couple of detective books for you.
    
    STARSKY: The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabillo Rec Room**
    
    WEEZE: I'll raise you five.
    
    FREDDIE: You gonna come clean, Weesel, or you gotta be laundered?
    
    WEEZE: Huh?
    
    FREDDIE: Unless you got strange taste in underwear, I'd say that's royalty up your sleeve.
    
    WEEZE: Hey, fellas... Hey... Hey, I wasn't gonna use it.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah? It don't never snow in Buffalo. Last time I saw that in a game I was in, Carmen "The Nose" Pirelli; found him doing the cast-iron crawl off the Lido pier.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabrillo Corridor**
    
    FREDDIE: You know, there's something  about you, Mac. My nose tells me, "Freddie, 5 will get you 10 he's a peeper."
    
    STARSKY: A what?
    
    FREDDIE: A gumshoe, a shamus. Private eye.
    
    STARSKY: Oh.
    
    FREDDIE: You know how I can tell?
    
    STARSKY: How? 
    
    FREDDIE: 'Cause I'm one myself.
    
    STARSKY: Oh?
    
    FREDDIE: As a matter of fact, I'm in here on a case right now.
    
    STARSKY: No kidding? How long you been on it?
    
    FREDDIE: Three years. Say, I was figuring, as long as we're in the same biz, maybe we could form a partnership.
    
    STARSKY: Say, that's jake with me. You know, the mug I'm interested in is this Switek.
    
    FREDDIE: Switek.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    FREDDIE: Ah, you're good. You're very good. You know, he's more than just the goon you think he is.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah?
    
    FREDDIE: Mr. Switek is a squeezer.
    
    STARSKY: A squeezer. Oh. You mean blackmail.
    
    FREDDIE: You better believe it, sweetheart.
    
    STARSKY: But, uh... who's he got the goods on?
    
    FREDDIE: I don't know. But it's gotta be somebody important.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    FREDDIE: Yeah. Someone who could pay him off in drugs and not get caught. Oh, let me tell you, there's a lot of suspicious stuff going on with this Switek.
    
    STARSKY: What else?
    
    FREDDIE: Well, aside from being shady to begin with, I ain't seen him around all day today.
    
    STARSKY: So? Maybe it's his day off.
    
    FREDDIE: If it's his day off, what's his car doing outside in the lot?
    
    STARSKY: It is?
    
    FREDDIE: Blue Chrysler. Been out there all day.
    
    STARSKY: Blue Chrysler. 
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Bathroom**
    
    CLEANING WOMAN: I don't know what happened. He's just unbelievable.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Starsky's Room**
    
    MATWICK: Switek came in here last night to check on Skyler. It must have happened then.
    
    BYCROFT: I never thought Skyler capable of anything like this.
    
    MATWICK: Well, I'm gonna have to have a private session with him tomorrow.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Starsky's Room**
    
    HUTCH: How do you feel?
    
    STARSKY: Like an inmate in a state hospital.
    
    HUTCH: Look, I'm getting off duty in about half an hour. I'm gonna call Dobey, and I'm gonna pull the plug on this whole case.
    
    STARSKY: No, not yet.
    
    HUTCH: Starsky, Matwick is taking you in for therapy tomorrow.
    
    STARSKY: What time tomorrow?
    
    HUTCH: Midnight.
    
    STARSKY: Well, then we have till then before we call Dobey in. Listen, the word I got on Switek is that he was blackmailing someone. That's probably where he got all the drugs.
    
    HUTCH: Do you have any idea who?
    
    STARSKY: No, I don't. But whoever it was is probably doing something a lot worse than stealing drugs. Switek must have had something on them, some evidence. 
    And whoever's got that is gone by now.
    
    STARSKY: You sure?
    
    HUTCH: Jane. The night that she saw Switek with the drugs in Bycroft's office, she also saw some papers there.
    
    STARSKY: You think you can get them?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, come on. Not until tomorrow afternoon. Well, they'd suspect me if I hung around after duty.
    
    STARSKY: Then it'll have to be Jane.
    
    HUTCH: I don't like it. It's dangerous for her, it's dangerous for you. 
    
    STARSKY: And if whoever it is gets those papers before we do, we're gonna leave all these people alone in this place, and I know a little bit of what that feels like now. Look, it took us all this time to get this investigation started. Do you think if we pull out now we're ever gonna get approval for another one?
    
    HUTCH: What am I gonna do with you? I'll get a hold of Jane. And you be careful.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Nurses' Station**
    
    JACKSON: Third-floor station, Jackson.
    
    HUTTON: Jackson, we need you in Receiving.
    
    JACKSON: Yes, but I'm the only one on duty here.
    
    HUTTON: I'm telling you, it's an emergency. We need you in Receiving now!
    
    JACKSON: OK, I'll be right there.
    
    **Exterior - Day - Cabrillo Mental Institution**
    
    STARSKY: Well, how's Jane? Is she gonna be all right?
    
    HUTCH: I don't know. She's still in a coma. Some kind of barbiturate poisoning. Damn it, Starsk, if I ever find out who's behind this thing...
    
    STARSKY: I think Jane already did. Are we clear?
    
    HUTCH: Who the hell knows?
    
    STARSKY: Pull over, will you? I got an itch on my right leg.
    
    HUTCH: Where is it?
    
    STARSKY: On the inside.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, what's this?
    
    STARSKY: Jane dropped those off in Freddie's room last night. He brought them to me this morning. Dr. Matwick was indicted in New York 12 years ago for negligent homicide.
    
    HUTCH: Hmm.
    
    STARSKY: It seems that he was using mental patients as guinea pigs in his behavioural-control experiments. Two of them died.
    
    HUTCH: And he got off?
    
    STARSKY: It's a federal programme, so it got hushed up.
    
    HUTCH: Psycho-chemical experiments, huh?
    
    STARSKY: Mm-hm.
    
    HUTCH: He's probably using that atropine compound he was telling me about. The symptoms would still be the same.
    
    STARSKY: You know, those two suicides might have just been a cover-up.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. I mean, who'd bother to do an autopsy on a hanging around here?
    
    STARSKY: Not to mention a couple of illegal psycho-surgeries to boot.
    
    HUTCH: Scares you to think how many minds this man has worked over. We need more, Starsk, a lot more. We still don't know what happened to Switek. If we don't get any more backup information, these files aren't gonna hold up in court.
    
    STARSKY: Well, looks like we're just gonna have to get into Matwick's files.
    
    HUTCH: Well, it's gotta be soon. He's got you on his operating schedule for tonight.
    
    STARSKY: Swell. I can hardly wait.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Matwick's Office**
    
    MATWICK: Now, Charles, what makes you so certain that those two are policemen?
    
    DEEK: Certain? I got five years from those lousy pigs. I mean, you might say, they're heavy on my mind.
    
    MATWICK: Why is it they haven't recognised you?
    
    DEEK: Well, when they busted me, I had this really trashy long hair and a beard. Looked like a freaking prophet.
    
    MATWICK: I see.
     
    DEEK: And besides which, I've been staying kind of out of view lately, you dig?
    
    MATWICK: Thank you for your concern, Charles. That'll be all.
    
    DEEK: Hell it will. Hey, I seen too much around here, Doc, baby. Now, you give me satisfaction. Yes?
    
    MATWICK: So be it. You go to your room, Charles, until I call for you.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Matwick's Office**
    
    MATWICK: Well... Rudolph, here you are. How did you get in?
    
    STARSKY: I flew in, just like Peter Pan.
    
    MATWICK: Not quite convincing, Mr. Starsky.
    
    STARSKY: Well, my mother told me I'd never make it in the theater.
    
    MATWICK: Get down. Come on, get down! Onto the operating table. Come on, do as I say!
    
    STARSKY: Easy.
    
    MATWICK: I'd hate to have to use this. 
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, you usually prefer a syringe for your dirty work.
    
    MATWICK: My conscience is quite clear, Mr. Starsky. The work I've been doing here is of utmost importance. A few lives is a rather small price to pay.
    
    STARSKY: Tell that to the dead men.
    
    MATWICK: Criminal psychotics, all of them. They were quite invaluable to my research. But their lives were the only contribution to this world.
     
    STARSKY: And what about that girl in the coma? What about Jane Hutton? She part of your research too?
    
    MATWICK: No. She was a reporter, I discovered. She would have caused all sorts of trouble. Get down. Come on, get down. Get down. On your stomach.
    
    STARSKY: How humiliating.
    
    MATWICK: All right, hands back here. Come on. Behind you. I'll be sending Miss Bycroft in here with some medicine for you.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Nurses' Station**
    
    MATWICK: Hansen.
    
    HUTCH: Doctor.
    
    MATWICK: Working rather late tonight, aren't you?
    
    HUTCH: Well, I was, uh... I was just finishing up some reports.
    
    MATWICK: That's all right, Hansen. You may sign out now.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, uh... Thank you. Uh... Would you, uh...?
    
    MATWICK: No. No, thank you.
    
    HUTCH: Save it for tomorrow. Goodnight, Doctor. 
    
    MATWICK: Goodnight.
    
    HUTCH: Goodnight, Doctor.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Matwick's Office**
    
    STARSKY: Hutch! I'm in here! Hutch! Hutch!
    
    BYCROFT: It's gone too far. Too far.
    
    STARSKY: You're beautiful.
    
    
    **Interior - Night - Stairwell**
    
    STARSKY: Back off! Back, you creep! Hutch, you okay? Huh? Come on. Are you okay?
    
    HUTCH: I... can't make it.
    
    STARSKY: Yes, you can. Hold on. Come on. Come on. Hold on. Come on, huh? Hutch? Huh? Come on. It's okay. 
    
    HUTCH: Matwick. 
    
    STARSKY: Okay. Okay. Okay. First, I gotta take care of this guy. Huh? Come on. Come on. Matwick! Matwick! Right there. You okay?
    
    HUTCH: I didn't think... you could handle it all by yourself.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, boy.
    
    
    **Interior - Day - Cabrillo Rec Room**
    
    STARSKY: (sings) Happy Birthday. 
    
    HOWARD: I never thought we'd see you guys again.
    
    FREDDIE: I knew the mugs would come back.
    
    HUTCH: All right, whose birthday is it? Hmm?
    
    STARSKY: Come on! We know it's one of you. Little birdie told us. Huh?
    
    HUTCH: It is somebody's birthday, isn't it?
    
    STARSKY: Oh, come on, now. You mean to say that we went out and we bought a triple-decker devil's food cake, a case of soda, and three dozen woofers and tweeters, and no one's having a birthday?
    
    HOWARD: I just remembered, it's my birthday!
    
    HUTTON: Oh, good!
    
    WEEZE: That would make the third birthday you had this year. Sit down, dummy.
    
    HOWARD: Oh, shut up.
    
    STARSKY: Um... This is terrible.
    
    HUTCH: It's awful.
    
    STARSKY: Wait a second. I got it. I got it. You know whose birthday it is today? It's the Babe Ruth's.
    
    HUTCH: Of course! It's Babe Ruth! He's gonna be 146!
    
    STARSKY: Light the candles, Bo! 
    
    END


End file.
